Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I drink to forget I drink.
I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.
Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.
The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
The whole world is about three drinks behind.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them vodka,mix them together and have a party!!
Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.
Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
A good friend takes your drink away and says, “You’ve had enough.” But a TRUE friend gives you another drink and yells, “YOU BETTER CHUGG THIS CUZ WE AIN’T TRASHED YET!!”
Drink and think but dont think and drink
I swear to drunk I’m not god.
one tequila
two tequila
three takillya
floor
Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off.
When life hands u lemons grab the tequila and salt and call me over!
I have all day sober to Sunday up!
Never drink on an empty head
If your beer hits the floor send your girl out the door.
Beer: it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Reality: an illusion due to lack of alcohol
I am being sober in moderation…
Im not as think as u drunk i am
I like to have a martini,
two at the very most,
after three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under my host.
When life gives you lemons, break out the tequila and salt!
My boss didn’t know i drank, till one day i came to work sober.
I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I drink to forget I drink.
I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.
Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.
The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
The whole world is about three drinks behind.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life gave them vodka,mix them together and have a party!!
Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.
Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
A good friend takes your drink away and says, “You’ve had enough.” But a TRUE friend gives you another drink and yells, “YOU BETTER CHUGG THIS CUZ WE AIN’T TRASHED YET!!”
Drink and think but dont think and drink
I swear to drunk I’m not god.
one tequila
two tequila
three takillya
floor
Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off.
When life hands u lemons grab the tequila and salt and call me over!
I have all day sober to Sunday up!
Never drink on an empty head
If your beer hits the floor send your girl out the door.
Beer: it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Reality: an illusion due to lack of alcohol
I am being sober in moderation…
Im not as think as u drunk i am
I like to have a martini,
two at the very most,
after three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under my host.
When life gives you lemons, break out the tequila and salt!
My boss didn’t know i drank, till one day i came to work sober.
I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not
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